Wednesday, August 19, 2009

The Creepy Time Traveler and His Child Bride

How this movie ever passed a screen test is beyond my grasp. Okay, so my lady and I were broiling hot on a muggy August night in NYC and decided to take a risk and go blindly into an air conditioned movie theater to see some mindless entertainment. Had to be better than wasting away moaning and groaning in our oven like apartment, yes? No.
No, not at all. We rolled into our favorite very cold local movie theater with the most comfortable chairs, sat down with our free popcorns, via our Regal Crown Club Card™ and sat back to hopefully be whisked away on some sort of magical adventure.
No. We suffered through 107 minutes of maybe the worst pile of schlock we had ever seen. Complete with a three note string section sound track that was laid on so thick it was nearly impossible to hear the dialogue, this movie was filled wretched moments of pregnant pauses followed by what we are supposed to believe are "sayings"? I'm not sure. It was Really weird.
The plot line is basically about a creep that stalks a little girl and tricks her into eventually marrying him, it was gross. The final scene was stupid. Schlock, sap.