Saturday, April 14, 2012

Holy Shit!

Looks who is back!

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Oscar Academy, WTF?

Seriously The Academy...
How is Hailee Steinfeld up for a supporting actress oscar and Annette Bening for a lead? Can someone explain this to me? Hailee Steinfeld had a lead role and Anette Bening did not. Did the academy accidentally write the wrong names next to the ballot check boxes? Did they see either movie?
This remake of True Grit could not have existed without Hailee Steinfled- who not only narrates the movie, but is also it's central character and drives the entire plot.
Anette Bening is, at best, a fleeting reminder that, between a barrage of sex scenes starring Julianne Moore & Mark Ruffalo, you are watching a movie that without her would be any other number of humdrum straight dramedies that no academy would nominate for anything in any category.
Swap Anette Bening for an infertile Greg Kinnear who's wife is cheating on him with their anonymous sperm donor and realize that this truly is at best just a mediocre movie.

It's like that time when Nicole Kidman won for lead actress in the Hours because she was wearing a prosthetic nose for her 15 on-camera minutes, and Julianne Moore was up in the same category for Far from Heaven- which hands down, should've beat crazy pants & the fake nose.
It's just plain wrong.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Is it too soon to remake Showgirls?

I had this dream where they recast Showgirls. It was Cher playing Gina Gershon and Christina Aguilera playing Elizabeth Berkley. I couldn't believe it when one day my dream came true.
There really isn't anything these pictures can't say for me, although I am thankful the double-nude scene wasn't available in the Cher/Aguilera version. Not that the Gershon/Berkley was any walk in the park...

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Remember Saturday, September 27, 2008?

On that very date I said that I thought Sarah Palin was "a hoot."
See for yourself, you can look back at my oldest blog posts, that thing really happened.
I'm totally over it, she no longer, and really hasn't for quite sometime, I'd say years, qualifies as "a hoot."
Here is a simple theory on why we are still talking about this bitch nearing the end of 2010:
there are so many ego driven baby boomers (seventy-six million) who are so desperately afraid of what might happen when they, en masse, become very old, that they are willing to vote this obvious lunatic into ultimate power because her seemingly minuscule grasp of concepts such as action v. consequence, cause v. effect, will lead her to pick up that red phone and say something like, "let 'er rip!" at a pin drop, launching a nuclear holocaust, thus effectively eliminating the prospect of old age for this particular group of Americans.
As my uncle says, and I am paraphrasing here, 'I'm ready for that inevitability- I disagree with everything she stands for, but if she's willing to end it all, she's got my vote.'
I think in the photograph she is throwing up the gang sign for , "I'm fucking crazy."

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Dear Tea Partier,

When next we speak of your undying belief that the federal governmental system is f**king You in the a** daily - giving cause for an armed uprising, the likes of which no one has seen since the civil war (read - the south will rise again?), please, do not follow by saying you just worked out at the VA gym, got a free physical exam and purchased your groceries at below wholesale cost from the commissary with your SSD check. You see no irony in your revolution, and it truly baffles.
I can assure you, I really, really, really, don't want to hear it. Really. I sincerely do not.